Wow. Australia is hurting right now. Poor Australia! Floods, cyclones (their name for scary nasty hurricanes), and now wildfires. It's all in the news. Not to mention poisonous spiders and snakes that make the critters in the USA look like characters from Disney World. I'm feeling cold feet. I am picturing a blood-curtling scream from my kids' rooms as they see a spider that is the same size as a daddy's hand and could render them emotionally scarred for life. I am wondering if we are crazy for considering this.
Not to mention the fact that a few people have all directly implied that we are horrible parents for not putting our kids' needs first by considering this move. Oh, I am also in the middle of my "week of celebration". That's what we call my week of my "period". It is a week of celebration because we aren't quite needing an "oops" resulting in a 4th baby right now. We would deal with it, but wouldn't immediately see all the benefits outweighing the "oh my gosh"es. During my week of celebration, everything that comes up in my world is as big as a male funnel spider, the size of a man's hand, and as deadly as drinking 10 glasses of cyanide. Everything. I DID, however, start taking Evening Primrose, in the last six months. It does help, believe it or not. I only cry once or twice during the week of celebration, not, as previously, 6-10 times while I huddle on the bathroom floor in a total freakout. Maybe it wasn't THAT bad, but VERY close to it. I would freakout 2 or 3 times and end up on the bathroom floor. So, hooray for Evening Primrose.
My response to those nay-sayers attacking my parenting: Go take a hike, and tend that fire in your own backyard. God bless you, really. We all do the best we can, don't we? Who sets out to hurt their children? We all want to give our kids a life full of love, security, protection, education, richness, faith, a lack of hypocrisy, and perhaps some adventure. It looks different for everyone because we are all different. So...if my way is not YOUR way then OH WELL. I'm sure we could find some holes in YOUR way, if we really looked. But we won't, because that's between you and God.
The truth is that we really don't know what's next. Taylor is taking a 6-day trip to play music with our visa "sponser" and meet with the 10 pastors who are "sending" the "team" (of which we would be a part) out to do this Australia thing. This trip of his will provide more answers.
Life, when taking the path of FAITH, is like taking the path of salt water taffy. It pulls on you. It pulls on your sense of what you think you need to be comfortable. I would never change that. I have made some VERY big mistakes. They have all made me who I am today. I, for the first time in almost 40 years, am starting to see that God LOVES who I am. It is no mistake that he has used my mistakes to mold me and teach me and show me his ENDLESS mercy and patience. He is there to help me manage the details of who I am and how I work. I am sure that my parenting is absolutely not perfect. It is, however, from the heart. I am pretty sure that I will have to be humble and accept my shortcomings with my kids when they get older and when they feel the freedom to share WHERE I fell short. I think that's part of the process, too. Kids watching their parents asking for forgiveness and seeing them show humility. I would have appreciated that a little more. I got it for the BIG problems, but there is still this perceived INVINCIBILITY that my parents hold over me. I don't want to be like that for my kids. While they are young, we will take them where we go and teach them how we teach them. All the while asking for the Holy Spirit's wisdom and courage. For now, that will be enough. So, if we are truly supposed to go to Australia (I AM asking God for plenty of confirmation on this!), we will go. It will sure be an adventure if it comes to pass.
No comments:
Post a Comment