I am surrounded by tons of beautiful 20 or even 30-something ladies who have a pierced nose. That fact has kept me a bit at arm's length from actually getting one. I am a full decade older than these beauties. I AM self-aware, you know. So...WHAT changed?
I have wanted a pierced nose since I was about 16 years old. I thought it was beautiful. Mostly, I loved it on the perfect darker-skinned faces of women from far and distant lands. Being a good born and bred New England girl (Massachusetts, to be exact) who wore college sweatshirts, navy turtlenecks, navy and white-specked LLBean wool sweaters, denim button-up shirts, and anything else very itchy and boring, the idea of getting a nose piercing was just ridiculous. My beloved parents were SUPER concerned with my keeping up a very proper New England-ness is most of my fashion choices and I strove to please them. Pleasing people...yes, that has been a hallmark of MOST of my life. Well, on the surface.
So...WHAT changed?
Well, I have been sliding along the "don't do anything that draws potentially critical criticisms" path for a while. This past year has been a slow and steady change of direction for my focus. My heart is beginning to feel dissatisfied with living within the lines. NOT that I believe being rebellious for the sake of being rebellious has too much merit. No, this is a re-birth. This is a burgeoning self-discovery. This is new life. This is beginning to not put what people think above what I KNOW is me.
The origin of this new life is FINALLY stepping into who I believe GOD made me to be. It is finally walking in the embrace of HIS love and acceptance. As a chronic people pleaser, for the last 42 years, I am finally BELIEVING what I have always heard about how God thinks of me...of his children. It has been a bit of a gradual journey. However this weekend there was a shift of great importance that demanded a symbol...a symbol of freedom and trust.
This weekend, I believe God cemented something into my heart. It was spoken both by a powerful message during the service and by some very directed prayer for me, afterward. It is TIME to KNOW what God thinks about me. It is TIME to STEP INTO His call for my life and to be available to be used in his plan of love, compassion, worship, involvement, faith, relationships with HIS beloved children (all of you :)), trust, and adventure. I am ready and I wanted a symbol to mark my commitment. Symbols are important. They are a reminder. I wasn't going to get a tatoo :), so this was a good choice for me. I chose a blue stone because I believe blue is a profound "Kingdom" color.
I am here, Lord, use me. "Catch me up in your story, all my life for your glory. Put me anywhere, just put your glory in me. Let me see your beauty". As silly as this little nose piercing may be, it is my symbol.
