Stories are the lifeblood of humanity. Stories are told by actors, writers, musicians, photographers, and artists. A film is a beautiful loom, weaving all of those storytellers together. Each of the different elements and methods of telling a story can stand on their own, for sure. However, a film, when done well, brings all of those elements and methods together and can change people, perspectives, and cultures.
Movies are one of my passions. Music and movies meet in my heart as a dance of joy, sorrow, hope and adventure. When I am feeling overwhelmed with the daily grind, I see a movie. When I want to be transported to what is possible in this life, I see a movie. From before my memories are recorded as memories I loved watching various depictions of life on the screen. I was an unhappy girl, very unsure of herself in the cacophony of social rules and unspoken regulations in life. Movies allowed my mind to venture into the "what ifs" that extended beyond the "shoulds" of my limited existence.
For many years, a limited existence is exactly what I fought against. Following the typical trail of childhood and the common path of public school, I attended Amherst Regional Junior High School until almost failing out of ninth grade. My parents finally realized that the public school experience left me hopeless and lost. Then, for a repeat of ninth grade through finishing high school, they did whatever needed to be done and facilitated my attendance at The Academy At Charlemont (a sweet little private school off of the Mohawk Trail). Those were three of the best years of my life. That school ignited my desire to learn. It was a small school, and I had 18 people in my graduating class, and social "challenges" were a non-issue because the social and learning environment were nurturing to all kinds of kids. We were taught to accept others for who they were and to encourage others to thrive in their individual strengths and gifts.
All seniors, at the "Academy", as we warmly referred to it, were expected to spend the last half of their senior year on a individualized project, with the assistance of an advisor. We could do the project in any form on any topic that interested us. I chose to direct a dramatic production, small in scale, of three people depicting the effects of child molestation. There was a father, a mother, and a child (as played by a fellow "Academy" student, not a real child), their actions were "choreographed" to music, and there were no words spoken by the actors. Each "act" had a different song that accompanied it. I chose three of my favorite songs by my favorite artists, Sinead O'Connor, Kate Bush, and Suzanne Vega. Even as a senior in high school my awareness of acting and music as a means to tell a powerful story ran deep in my bones. Many hearts were touched, and many tears were shed during and after that performance. It was my first taste of conceptualizing, organizing, producing and directing a telling of a story that was meaningful to me and, I hoped, others.
After high school, I didn't pursue much in the way of the dramatic or creative arts. I attended college at the University of Rhode Island and changed majors about five times. I wasn't focused, and wanted to take the path of least resistance. Joining the sailing team and partying away two of my four years was my experience. As a Residence Assistant I experience ALL kinds of interesting things and people, about all of which I have fantasized writing a book. What I did not know, during those years, is that I was struggling with undiagnosed ADD. A condition that never seemed to be an issue until the studying got harder and the focus needed to be sharper. I charmed my way through the "Academy", with a minimum of work and a lot of enthusiasm. College was not as merciful to my unknown "condition". Almost failing out of college, I was able to take a summer class to earn my last needed credits and emerged with a B.A. in Speech Communication.
Fast forward twenty years, to today. Twenty years out of higher education. The first ten of those twenty years I spent floundering as a person to find who I was and what I wanted to do with my life. Indecision was my rudder, and experimentation was my sail. Then came marriage. Then came children. To keep myself sane, as a mommy with babies, I was able to audition for and obtain a couple roles at the local community theater! Oh, how my heart came alive as a participant in storytelling. Yet, the demands of young babies were more than my husband could juggle on his own as I spent hours at rehearsals.
Fast forward ten years. Now, I am at the starting line of a new life, of sorts. Finally, after my third child was born, and a near miss with complete insanity from feeling totally overwhelmed with the pressing needs of multitasking, I was diagnosed with ADD. Medication was not easy for this crunchy granola head, organic-loving, essential oil using, alternative medicine seeking fanatic. Yet, medication was the door to my new life of focus and direction.
Always a singer, I was finally able to work on my craft with a sense of purpose. Taking care of the kids had always been a challenge to this creative mind. However, it wasn't undoing me, at last. As the kids began to need less 24/7 hands-on care, my heart and mind began to retrace their steps to what made me feel alive again. Storytelling. Music. Dramatic arts. I began to see films in a whole different light, as an investigator, not just an observer. I began to notice that the cinema was the consistent medium for my storytelling enjoyment. I realized that films utilized all the aspects of storytelling that I love. Music, acting, cinematography, writing, directing, production, they are all there.
Now, I am 42 years old. My children are all attending school full-time. I am not a housewife to the core. My desires lead me to bringing great stories to life. My college experience wasn't just tainted by ADD, it was an exercise in immaturity. I am a kinesthetic learner and learn by trial and error. The last 42 years have led me to this moment. The moment that I couldn't have had any earlier. It is my time. It is time to begin to actively figure out how to tell the stories that need to be told. It is time for me to get my hands dirty in some kinesthetic learning.
My first instinct was to return to college to get a Masters degree in Film, overseas no less. Various logistics have prevented that path from clearing at this time. Remembering the unique "Academy"-esque style of learning/teaching that is a hallmark of Hampshire College (as I spent 20 years growing up in Amherst and am well aware of your school's amazing reputation), I decided to research your film department. That is how I discovered this remarkable summer program by the Creative Media Institute. Andrew returned my call of inquiry, promptly, and we had a great conversation about the program. I now know that this program could be the next essential step in determining my future as a storyteller. It is a beautiful balance of theory and practical, kinesthetic application. That describes where I am at, at 42 years old, in a nutshell. I am needing to merge theory with applied action. I see life in snapshots of beauty and possibility. The people I have met, the stories I have read, the mistakes I have made, and the miracles I have seen are just a few of the snippets that are constantly running in my heart and mind, waiting to come out. I am one of so many people with amazing stories waiting to come out, to be told. I want to tell those stories and I want to tell them with film.
I want to move people. I want to reach in and touch hearts that may be hardened by life. I want to cause people to think about humanity, about life, in ways they haven't before. I want to take people on a journey into a world they may not otherwise see if it weren't for film. I want to know if I can be the kind of filmmaker I love, and your program will help me to know that.
